We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
