I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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