I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Send help, water and tortillas.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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