BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
