I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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