woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
a search helicopter?!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
