Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You're a waste of cheezeits
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize