So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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