This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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