I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
