I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
