At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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