This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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