3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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