FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
