I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
