I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
