So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
