Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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