Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
