I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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