in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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