she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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