So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
love makes seman taste better
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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