Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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