He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
