Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize