sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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