did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
