Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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