The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
