Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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