I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
