It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
