I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you will always have a special place in my vag
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize