Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am one with the molecules
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