how can u be prego again
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
