Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
