Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
