Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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