i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
