Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
