what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
