Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you inspire me to be a worse person
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
