I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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