Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
