I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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