hotel room ftw
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i now understand why vodka
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
