I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
