I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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