I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
