Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize