the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
