Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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