3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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