Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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