Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
