Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
