When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
