Me too!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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