malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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