I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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