the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
