your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
