Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i believe in u and ur pee
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
