Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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