did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Nicole vs. Life
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
