If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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